dark.evil.ugly.

8.30

Lying on the floor of Satan's playground

where darkness only exposes more darkness

the light comes only to suffocate you and remind you

of the game you've been playing

while soldiers of the Lord are fighting for souls

And you thought they didn't need to fight for yours;

because you were saved

But all you did was get off the floor for a little while

all you did was dust yourself off so you can pretend you were never there

lies.

the darkness knows how much you love to play

the dark knows its all you can think about

it's day time now, but soon the darkness comes to consume

to light the fire of sin and ignite you with the excitement to play

use the day time for sleeping

remain in darkness behind the protection of your own eyelids

never letting the light of day seep in

you are living a lie in the day anyway

but stop pretending as if you don't like it

stop pretending like you don't know

you're rotting on the floor of Satan's playground

through the window

It's pouring in Pupukea

and even though Postal Service hums in the background about sleeping in

I wish I had woken up earlier to see this

Because even when it rains, it's beautiful

It's then that I realize that even if you'd cry

you'd still be beautiful

I'd sit in your cool breeze and stare

at how lovely you are

I wish I had talked to you sooner to see you cry

But I'm still asleep

please

don't wake me

I don't like the rain

I hate it when you cry

and I'm not ready to see your beauty

mosh

"what have you been up to since college?"
I looked around at all the faces
of all the people that made up the last 2 years of my life
and wanted to say,
"ask them"
Because they are what I've been up to since college
Each face unique in size, shape, age, and color
no two alike
equal in beauty alone
full of stories of the past 2 years
Stories of trials, tribulations, love, heartbreak, redemption, and holiness
Ask them because they were there
and stuck around to tell the story
I looked around and realize I don't have to say anything
Because my stories speak for themselves
My stories are in this room
laughing
loving
breathing
moving
and speaking for themselves
My stories are ALIVE
You can look into the eyes of my stories
aren't they beautiful?

first

let me touch your hands

so I can feel how much you love me

not just in the warmth

or in the fit

but in the scars

the depth of scars

the indent of scars

the smoothness of scars

The scars

that prove that you didn't just die for me

but you bled for me

first

the lumberjack

I know pruning is supposed to hurt

because you have to cut something off

but this feels more like lumber-jacking

over and over and over again

how will I ever grow if you keep cutting me down the middle

how will I ever be beautiful if you cut me off before I can bloom

how will I ever bear fruit if I am BARE

what kind of pruning is this?

I think you cut too much this time

because all I see is death and destruction

it feels like nothing will ever grow again

how can I trust in your faithfulness if you keep cutting me in half

how can I trust you are covering me in your love if you keep stripping me naked

how can I trust anything or anybody at all

if

You

keep

chopping

me

in

half

like

this

what ever this lesson is, I wanna learn it

because I cannot handle

there has to be more than this

salvation has got to feel better than this

what am I doing wrong?

Satisfaction

Walking in my cap and gown

The new cd I made for my car

A sunny day in Oregon

mmm...

Hearing my parents say they are proud of me

When Ricky was born

Monday night football with my Papa

yup...

When they figure out I can sing

Knowing I am missed

Winning an argument

oh yeah...

Turning his head

being your favorite

dancing all night long

...

the first shot of tequila

my paycheck with plenty overtime pay

sleeping with him

mmm... the taste of SATISFACTION...

the truth is

I

have

NEVER

been

satisfied.

have you?

what is it going to take to satisfy me

what will I do to satisfy you

Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified. - Mark 15:15

LORD forgive me. Forgive your children. Forgive us.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. - Psalm 90: 14

6 shots

mmm the aroma

gotta have it

after 6 shots

I got it all put together

the whole world sees me after 6 shots

you're the only one who sees me before

what do I look like?

i don't even know anymore

i wish i was addicted to you

at least you are free

tomorrow wake me up without it

or is that what you've been trying to do this whole time?

6 shots is so easy

it's everything else that's impossible