Translation

I speak 2 languages
but sometimes I speak 3.

I speak the language that everyone speaks
or at least 375 million do
I use it 95% of the day
to connect, gossip, teach, and learn
the words I speak in this language are the easiest to understand
their meaning travels fast and are easily clung to
capturing a wide audience all speaking this language.

I also speak the language of another country
A country foreign to the ways of this land
this language is a language romantico
spoken by our brothers and sisters of the South
this is a heart language, it makes you como familia
and seeks you like a surprise embrace
the sound of this language impresses, engrosses, and attracts many who speak it
and many who'd like to
it provides opportunity and crosses borders building bridges between the countries of those who speak it

And sometimes, sometimes I speak the language of my maker
This language is not spoken by many and not easily learned
it crosses time, nations, stereotypes, limits, age, and location
This language can bring peace and war
it can convict and heal
it reveals and brings freedom, if you let it
I should speak it more
because I have seen what it can do
but sometimes I keep it hidden
sometimes I keep it a secret
It holds the most power of any language
it is most beautiful when spoken by the one who created it
He speaks it fluently
through His word
through His people
through His daughters
through His sons
through You

And I, I speak 2 languages
but sometimes I speak 3.

Tears

Why won't the real ones come?
Even as I sit here writing they won't come.
Not one lousy tear, not even a fake one
I beg sometimes for them to come
To feel the flow that indicates I feel something
anything
The flow that indicates that I am affected
That something got through
Something penetrated the wall
This wall that begs to be broken, infiltrated, destroyed
But the flow never comes
never frees
never breaks through
Not one lousy tear, not even a fake one

Creationally Challenged

...is what I have deemed myself
It's like being told that you are a bad human
you are bad at being what you are
you suck at being who you were created to be
essentially, you suck

You can't even relate to your fellow species
Why can't you meet people where they are at?
Why do you have to force yourself to connect?
As if you have no empathetic qualities...
Do you?

I am defective in my nature
an error has been made in my manufacturing
I am essentially a substandard version of myself
How can this be?

I am made in the image and likeness of God
I am fearfully and wonderfully made
I am created for His glory by His perfect hand
How is it that I am so faulty as a creation of God?
Did He make a mistake on me?

Maybe it's me who challenges His creation
"Be all that you can be"
"Think independently of others"
"Follow your dreams"
"The only one you can depend on is you"
"This above all to thine own self be true"

When everything I have ever heard before now screams to separate it is no wonder I cannot connect
They say "detach"
Truth says "they had everything in common"
I was created to depend on Him
I was conditioned to depend on myself
I choose to no longer challenge His creation

Who knows my purpose better than my creator?
Who can get me back to His image but Him?
Today I choose to surrender
Today I choose to love my neighbor
Today I choose to enjoy the favor of all people
Today I choose to depend on the family He has given me

Today I choose into Perfect Creation.

KHMRTALR

What I should have said was

I am not too tired for your truth
Your truth is refreshing
Your truth is raw
Your truth is revealing
Your truth is real

Don't you see we need more of your truth?

I am not afraid of your truth

I am afraid of you leaving without telling the truth
I am afraid that I made you think that I can't handle your truth
I am afraid that you don't see that I need your truth

I love your truth

but the truth is, I didn't say anything at all.

Summit

From here I see the world
I see what you cannot

I see my son getting stabbed in the head
I see my son who won't even sit in your chair
I see my son cook who has no taste
I see my son who loves me and praises my name
I see my son Phil.

I see my daughter trafficked as a baby
I see my daughter getting older on the streets
I see my daughter abused by men
I see my daughter speak about her creator anyway
I see my daughter Gail.

I am the God who saves them
I am the God who heals them
I am the God who loves them
I am the God of Miracles.

Take me out of your box
I will never fit in your box
Your god is too small
Let me show you what I can do.

Beat Poet

What am I gonna do with a stupid paper heart?
It's lifeless, flimsy, & weak.
It's flat, plain, & dull.
Easily torn
Indistinguishable
Unimpressive
Lacking...
color
weight
depth
feeling
a pulse
Lacking...
Life
Love
Beauty
Truth
Jesus

Enter the King
That's who you are right?
The one who wants to take this away
The one who made this
Is that right?

Sure take it from me
It's very lightweight
so lightweight it pisses me off
it's just falling out of my hands
flying away with a light breeze
and here I am resentfully scooping it back up
back in my hands it goes
but I can't even hold onto it
Sure, take it away from me
You already have everything else
It's all I have left
But what are YOU gonna do with a stupid paper heart?

In your hands it has color
bright vibrant color
my mouth is gaping open at the sight
In your hands it pulses
strong beats with purpose
so loud it's consuming me
It gushes with life
It's alive
It's beautiful

You take my hand and I lose sight
Where did you put it?
It's safe with me
I want it back
It's better with me
It's mine
No, it's mine
It's alive with me
It's okay that you can't see it
It's okay

You look at me and call me Beautiful
You call my heart Bella because that is the language that it speaks

It's yours
Your Bella.
You are the King
My maker
restorer
lover
life-giver
and I
I am
yours.

What are you gonna do with my pulsing gushing heart?

Grace

There is Grace.
Do you receive it?
It is a free gift, the price has already been paid.
It is for you.
Do you receive it?
Why do you punish yourself?
You have already been forgiven.
Have you forgiven yourself?


Forgiveness is free.
Grace is free.
Do you receive it?
Why do you wait for suffering, when that is not the lesson this time.
Why are you punishing yourself?
Why are you trying to prune?
Maybe this time you are supposed to hold on.
This time you are supposed to hold on!
Why do you feel alone when they are standing right in front of you?
Reach out and touch them, you don't have to stretch very far.
They are ready to embrace,
love,
speak softly.

Don't push.
Don't be afraid of what you can't understand.
Don't be afraid to rest in Me.
Don't be afraid to let Me heal you.
Don't be afraid of My love for you.
Don't be afraid to let Me call you beautiful.
Don't be afraid of My embrace.
Don't be afraid of Me.

Don't turn your back on My gifts.

free
abundant
paid for
gifts
all you have to do
is
open
your
hands
and
receive
freely
grace...
forgiveness...
love...

Do you receive it?